Last February, a dad named Rob in Minneapolis told me something over Zoom that stopped me cold. His son Caleb, three years old, had been on a speech therapy waitlist for eleven months. "We tried everything," Rob said. "Flashcards, YouTube speech videos, quizzing him at dinner. Nothing. Then our pediatrician said just sit with him for ten minutes every morning and shut up. Stop asking questions. Just be there." He laughed. "Six weeks later, Caleb said 'more milk.' Clear as day. First real two-word phrase." Rob's voice cracked a little. "All I had to do was stop trying so hard."
I know that story because it's almost exactly our story too.
This is the dad voice. Will, founder of LittleWords. I'm writing the boring true account of what ten minutes a day of speech practice at home daily looked like for us, over eight months on a waitlist, because it was so unremarkable I almost didn't write it down. But it worked. And the reason it worked is worth understanding.
How we were doing it wrong
Maya was two and a half. No spoken words. Lots of scripted lines from Bluey and Daniel Tiger. She communicated by grabbing our hands and dragging us toward whatever she wanted, occasionally pointing, sometimes making sounds.
For months, we'd been quizzing her. "Can you say apple?" "What sound does the cow make?" It felt productive. It wasn't. She got frustrated. We got frustrated. Mornings turned adversarial, which is a terrible way to start the day when you're two.
Our SLP (the one we eventually got in to see privately while waiting on the developmental pediatrician) told us to stop all of it. Her instructions were almost insultingly simple: pick ten minutes a day. Same time. Same routine. No quizzing. Just narrate, wait, and respond to anything Maya offers.
We picked breakfast.
What the ten minutes actually looked like
7:00 to 7:10 a.m., every weekday morning.
I sat across from Maya at our kitchen table with the same two breakfast options: oatmeal and yogurt. Same bowl, same spoon, same chair. This sounds obsessive. It's not. Predictability lowers cognitive load, which frees up bandwidth for something else to happen. Think of it like clearing RAM on an old computer. The fewer background processes running, the more resources available for the one thing you actually want.
I narrated, sparsely:
"Oatmeal. Yogurt." (Holding both up.)
Then I waited. Ten full seconds. That's longer than you think. Sometimes she reached. Sometimes she looked. Sometimes she vocalized. Once a week, she said something approximating "oat" or "ya."
I gave her whichever she chose. No questions, no corrections. If she reached for both, she got both. If she pushed both away, I set them aside and offered again thirty seconds later.
While she ate, I narrated what she was doing in two- to three-word phrases: "Big bite. More oatmeal. Spoon down. All gone." Pauses between each one. Not a running commentary.
If she made any sound, I imitated it back. If she banged the spoon, I banged mine. If she said "ba," I said "ba."
That was the whole ten minutes. No drills. No flashcards. No demands. Predictable as gravity.
Eight months, in slow motion
Month 1: Nothing visible. I nearly quit by week three because she didn't seem to notice the change. The only thing that kept me going was that breakfast had become less stressful. Honestly, that alone was worth it.
Month 2: She started looking at me more during breakfast. Eye contact, sometimes, on her terms. The choices became more deliberate. She would point at the oatmeal instead of dragging my hand toward it.
Month 3: Her first consistent vocalization inside the routine. "Ah" for "all done." Used at the end of breakfast. Used the same way three days in a row, then every day for a month.
Month 4: Two more vocalizations. "Mo" for "more," used during oatmeal. "Ba" for "bowl" when I held the empty bowl up.
Month 5: She started initiating. She would come find me before 7:00 a.m., point at the kitchen, and vocalize. The routine had become hers. That shift was enormous.
Month 6: She added gestalts. "All done!" with the right intonation, used in context. Borrowed from Daniel Tiger, but deployed intentionally.
Month 7: Real two-word combos. "More oatmeal." Not crisp. But intentional, repeated, and used in the right moments.
Month 8: By the time we sat down with the developmental pediatrician for the formal eval, she had six to eight spoken approximations, all built in the ten-minute breakfast routine, plus a small AAC vocabulary that grew alongside.
Here's the thing I wish someone had told me at month one: progress in language development looks like nothing for a long time, and then it looks like a little something, and then suddenly you can't remember when it started.
Why small, predictable, and demand-free actually works
The ten minutes worked for three reasons, and they compound.
Small enough to be non-negotiable. I could do it every day, even when work was insane. Even when I was running on four hours of sleep. Even when I felt hopeless. You cannot skip something that takes ten minutes. You can skip a forty-five-minute home therapy session. You will, eventually.
Predictable enough to free up her brain. Maya could stop spending her cognitive budget on figuring out what was happening and start using it for language. Predictability is regulation. Regulation is the precondition for communication. A kid who is anxious about what comes next isn't going to try a new word.
Demand-free enough to make trying feel safe. When I stopped quizzing, the social weight of communication lifted off her. She started offering attempts because there was no penalty for getting it wrong. The cost of trying dropped to nearly zero. That's everything.
The ten minutes wasn't a magic formula. It was an environment. The environment let the language come out.
What I'd tell a parent starting this tomorrow
If you're in the wait and you're not doing ten minutes a day, start today. Pick a routine that already happens: breakfast, bath, walk, bedtime. Pick a time you can defend on your worst day. Show up, present, every day.
The real work is mostly stopping. Stop quizzing. Stop redirecting. Stop trying to force output. Narrate, wait, respond. Repeat for six months.
You will not see daily progress. You might see monthly progress, sometimes. You will look back at month six and be stunned at where you started.
If your child has more or different needs than Maya, the ten minutes still works. The content shifts. The structure doesn't.
My genuinely opinionated take: I think we lose more language development to well-meaning parental over-prompting than to almost any other single factor during the waitlist period. The instinct to quiz is strong and it feels like you're doing something. But for a lot of kids, it's the thing standing in the way.
When something's not clicking
If you've been consistent with this for three months and you're seeing no shift in any direction (not more attempts, not more eye contact, not even less stress around the routine), get an SLP's eyes on it. The approach might need a small tweak. A good SLP will help you find it.
If your child shows distress during the routine, slow down. Reduce demand even further. Sit in silence sometimes. Joint silence in a regulated state builds connection. Connection precedes language. Always.
Our Speech Therapy Waitlist Survival Guide covers more strategies for the waiting period, and our full Speech Therapy at Home for Autistic Kids guide goes deeper on the techniques behind what I've described here.
Frequently asked questions
What if 10 minutes feels like too much on some days? Then do three. Or five. Or one. Do something. Consistency beats duration. A one-minute window done every day beats a thirty-minute window done once a week.
Does the routine have to be breakfast? No. Pick whatever is already happening. Bath, walk, snack, bedtime. The point is to attach the ten minutes to a routine that's going to happen anyway, so you don't have to carve out new time.
My child doesn't want to sit with me for 10 minutes. What do I do? Lower the expectation. Sit near them, in their space, doing your own version of the activity. Eat your own breakfast across the room. Read your own book in their playroom. The ten minutes is about presence, not forced engagement. Engagement grows when pressure drops.
What if I have multiple kids and can't give 10 minutes to just one? Find the routine that already has one-on-one time built in, even briefly. Bedtime alone, the bath, the morning walk to school. Find the five to ten minutes that already exists somewhere in your day.
Should I record video of the 10 minutes for the SLP? Sometimes useful. A sixty-second clip every couple of weeks can help an SLP see what's actually happening. Don't record every day. The phone in your hand changes the dynamic, and kids pick up on it faster than you'd expect.
What if my child is already using AAC? Does this still apply? Yes. The ten-minute window works alongside AAC. If your child is using a device, model on the device the same way you'd narrate vocally: sparse phrases, long pauses, respond to any attempt. The structure is the same.
Is there research supporting this kind of low-demand practice? The approach draws on responsive interaction strategies studied extensively in early intervention literature. The core principles (following the child's lead, reducing demands, narrating rather than questioning) are well-supported across multiple frameworks used by SLPs working with autistic children.
Related reading
- Hub: Speech Therapy Waitlist Survival Guide
- Pillar: Speech Therapy at Home for Autistic Kids
- We Waited 8 Months for an Autism Evaluation: How We Survived
- Free Resources While Waiting for Speech Therapy
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