Last updated 2026-07-11
TL;DR
Commenting, saying things like "Daddy jumping!" or "Dog sleeping", is a separate social communication skill from requesting. Many late talkers and autistic children skip it because requesting gets faster results. You can teach it through parallel play narration, expectant pausing, and modeling low-pressure observations. Most children need 4-8 weeks of daily practice before commenting becomes spontaneous.
Commenting means a child says something purely to share attention, not to get anything back. "Mommy is running" doesn't produce a cookie or a toy, and that's exactly why it's harder to teach than a request. ASHA classifies commenting under joint attention and pragmatic language, both branches of social communication [1]. Requesting is different: a child who asks for juice or says "more" is using words as a tool for a specific outcome, and most kids figure that out well before their first birthday.
Commenting only takes hold once a child believes that sharing an observation is worth something on its own. That belief builds slowly, and for late talkers and many autistic children it can stall out completely. A 2014 study in the Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research found that autistic children produced significantly fewer spontaneous comments and more requests than typically developing peers with matched vocabulary size [2]. The gap wasn't about how many words the children knew. It was about why they were talking at all. That's the part parents run into: drilling new vocabulary doesn't fix this. You have to give your child a reason to comment in the first place.
Why some kids skip commenting altogether
Reinforcement history explains a lot of it. Requesting works fast: say "cookie," point at the cabinet, get a cookie. Commenting gets you a smile, maybe a reply, and nothing tangible. If a child's brain has learned to weigh effort against payoff, that math doesn't favor commenting. For autistic children, something else may be going on underneath. Joint attention, the three-way link between child, adult, and object, tends to develop earlier and more easily in neurotypical children. Mundy and colleagues have shown that joint attention differences in autism show up as early as 12 to 18 months and rank among the most predictive early markers [3]. Since commenting depends on joint attention, a child who isn't yet sharing attention about something has no real motive to talk about it. Late talkers without autism often skip commenting for a plainer reason: speech is hard work, so they spend their limited words on getting needs met. And there's a third group worth naming: children with strong understanding but little output, who watch closely but rarely comment, because commenting means starting the exchange yourself rather than responding to someone else's. That's a different planning task altogether. An early intervention evaluation can help sort out which of these patterns fits your child.
When should commenting show up?
Spontaneous comments usually emerge between 12 and 18 months, right alongside joint attention [3]. By 18 months, a typically developing child should be pointing to share interest more often than to request something. By 24 months, expect short comments like "uh oh" or "doggy!" while watching something unfold. The American Academy of Pediatrics lists "shares things with others" and "shows you objects they like" as 12-month markers, and 50 words plus two-word phrases as 24-month markers [4]. Commenting runs through both of those milestones. If your child is past 24 months and rarely or never comments, mention it to your pediatrician or a speech therapy specialist. It's not a diagnosis on its own, but it's worth a closer look.
| Age | Expected commenting behavior |
|---|---|
| 12 months | Protodeclarative pointing (showing objects) |
| 15-18 months | "Uh oh", "wow", single-word observations |
| 24 months | Two-word comments ("Daddy fall", "big dog") |
| 30-36 months | Three-word subject-verb-object comments with some consistency |
| 4 years | Running commentary during play, questions about what others are doing |
Teaching commenting step by step
The method therapists use, and one you can run at home, is modeling without pressure and then building expectancy. Start by making commenting a habit of your own. For about two weeks, say one observation out loud every two or three minutes during play and routines: "Oh, the car fell off." "Kitty is sleeping." "Grandma is cooking." Don't ask your child to repeat it, and don't stare at them expectantly right away. You're just letting them hear what commenting sounds like. After four to seven days of that, start leaving gaps. Begin the comment and stop: "Oh no, the block just..." Wait five to ten seconds and watch your child's face. Some children will fill the silence with a word or a gesture. If they do, treat it as a comment, even an imperfect one. Pair your comments with exaggerated facial expressions. A wide-eyed "Whoa!" right before you comment tells your child something worth noticing just happened, and over time that expression alone becomes the cue to look and speak. Try to comment on what your child is doing to other people more than what's happening to objects: "You are digging so fast!" or "She is laughing at you!" This is the specific skill at the center of this whole topic, and it's a bit harder than commenting on objects, since it asks the child to notice someone else's behavior as worth naming. When your child does comment, respond with real enthusiasm and add a follow-up observation: "Yes! He did fall! And then he got right back up!" Skip the toy or snack reward. The payoff here is the exchange itself, since that's the only reward commenting will ever earn in real life. For children using AAC, the same steps apply, but you'll select a "comment" vocabulary page on the device and model commenting yourself by activating it during play [5]. Research consistently shows that modeling AAC, sometimes called aided language input, increases a child's own use of the device for purposes beyond requesting. Many AAC devices have pages built specifically for social commenting, worth exploring with your SLP.
Which phrases to model first
Start with exclamations and evaluative words. They carry emotion, don't demand grammatical precision, and grab a child's attention easily: "Uh oh." "Wow." "Oh no." "Whoa." "Yay." "Look." "Gone." "More." "Big." "Fast." For slightly older or more advanced children, try a few sentence frames:
- "[Name] is [verb]-ing." ("Doggy is running.")
- "[Name] did it!" (celebrates someone's action)
- "[Name] fell / stopped / got it."
- "[Pronoun] is [adjective]." ("It's wet.")
"[Person] is [action]-ing" is the frame that most directly teaches commenting on what other people are doing. Stick to present progressive, since it matches what's happening right in front of both of you, which makes it the easiest tense to anchor to something you're both watching. Past tense comments ("He ran") are harder to learn early on because the event is already over by the time you name it; commenting in the moment works better because you and your child are seeing the same thing at the same time. If your child has echolalia, they may repeat your comment straight back to you. That's not commenting yet, but it's a foothold worth building on, and spontaneous comments tend to follow with more practice.
Commenting versus requesting
Requesting is driven by motivation you can engineer: withhold something desirable, prompt the child to ask, hand it over once they do. It's a fast loop because the reinforcement is built in. Commenting has no such loop. You can't withhold the sight of a dog walking past. The motivation has to come from somewhere else entirely, and that somewhere is the pleasure of sharing an experience with a person your child actually enjoys being around. Which means you have to be interesting to your child before commenting will take hold. Floor time, child-led play, and following your child's lead aren't extras here, they're the groundwork. It also generalizes more slowly. A child who learns to ask for juice will often ask for crackers or milk within days. A child who learns to comment on a dog falling down might not spontaneously comment on a cup falling for another month. Expect that spread across settings, people, and objects to take time. For a deeper look at how commenting fits into broader pragmatic goals, the autism spectrum speech therapy page covers this in the context of ABA and naturalistic developmental behavioral interventions.
Whether a child follows a point or checks your face after something happens tells you almost everything about readiness to comment. If that's not happening yet, verbal commenting isn't the next step, because commenting is really just joint attention with words attached. Joint attention itself splits into two skills. Responding to joint attention (RJA) comes first: the child looks where you point. Initiating joint attention (IJA) comes later and is what commenting grows out of, since the child starts the shared look because they want you to notice something too. If your child is still working on RJA, stay there. Point at things and wait for them to follow your gaze. Once that's solid, layer a label on top: "Look. A bird." Eventually you can drop the point and keep just the words, which starts bridging toward real commenting. The Hanen Centre's "It Takes Two to Talk" program, built for parents of late-talking children, lays out this exact sequence and has a reasonable evidence base[6]. It's not the only path, but it suits parents who like a structured home curriculum. You don't need therapy worksheets for this. The grocery store works. So does bath time, playground pickup, watching a sibling play. Routines are useful because they're predictable enough to build anticipation ("I wonder what the baby is doing...") while staying varied enough that your comments don't get stale. During play, narrate what's happening, then pause and look at your child: "Daddy is stacking the blocks aaallll the way up... and... wow." Wait for anything, a sound, a gesture, and treat it as a comment. On outings, pick one target: "Today we're looking for things to say 'uh oh' about," then model the phrase whenever something falls or surprises you. During books, comment on what a character is doing before you ask any questions. Questions pull for answers; comments pull for comments. Say one, wait, and if nothing comes, say another and turn the page. Sibling or peer play is especially rich, since kids tend to find other kids more interesting than most toys, so stand back, narrate softly, and cue your child with a look. Research on naturalistic language intervention keeps showing better carryover when practice happens across settings and people rather than in one structured block[7]. Ten minutes of this woven into daily life beats a single half-hour drill. Timelines vary enough that there's no clean number to give you. The closest data comes from joint attention intervention studies in autism, where parent-led programs showed gains in initiating joint attention over 8 to 12 weeks of steady practice[8]. Late talkers without autism who already have some joint attention sometimes produce their first spontaneous comments within 3 to 6 weeks of daily modeling. For children with autism and limited joint attention, 3 to 6 months of consistent work before anything generalizes isn't unusual. Watch for signs that commenting is forming even before words show up: the child glances at your face right after something interesting happens, brings you objects just to show you (not because they want them), or makes a sound aimed at you when something surprising occurs. These are commenting acts without words yet, and they're the scaffolding the language gets hung on. If a month has passed with none of these showing up, that's a reasonable point to schedule a formal speech-language evaluation. Early intervention is free for children under 3 under IDEA Part C[9]; for children 3 and up, Part B services through your school district take over. If your 18-month-old isn't pointing to share interest, or your 24-month-old isn't making any spontaneous comments, mention it to your pediatrician directly and ask for an SLP referral rather than waiting to see what happens. Under IDEA, children under 3 with a suspected delay are entitled to a free evaluation through state early intervention programs, and it has to happen within 45 days of referral[9]. Kids 3 to 21 fall under Part B through the school district. A licensed SLP will look closely at pragmatic language, not just vocabulary size or clarity of speech sounds. Tools like the Communication and Symbolic Behavior Scales (CSBS) or the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS-2) include specific probes for commenting and joint attention[10]. Practicing at home genuinely helps, but it won't tell you whether the block is joint attention itself, motor planning (as with apraxia of speech), processing, or something else, and each of those calls for a different approach. If in-person options are thin where you live, online speech therapy has expanded a lot, and several platforms focus specifically on late talkers and autistic children working on pragmatic goals. For a child using AAC, the underlying principles don't change: they still need a reason to share what they notice, still need joint attention as the base, and still need to see commenting modeled before they can do it themselves. What changes is mechanics. You model by touching the device yourself during play (aided language stimulation)[5]. If a toy car crashes, you pick up the child's device and hit "oh no" or "car" and "fall" yourself, without handing it over or prompting them to respond. AAC systems tend to load up on requesting words first, since that's usually what parents and therapists ask for early on, which pushes comment words, exclamations, and social phrases onto secondary pages. It's worth asking your SLP to prioritize those sooner rather than later: kids with a full set of comment vocabulary on their devices use them far more, and not just for requesting[5], because being responded to is rewarding in itself. If you're building AAC vocabulary now, having a way to add commenting phrases quickly matters. The Little Words app has a modeling mode built for exactly this kind of play-based use, worth a look at littlewords.ai/start if you want something lower-cost before committing to a dedicated device. Sometimes the issue runs the other way: a child talks a lot, but what comes out is scripted rather than truly commenting. Kids with strong verbal scripts or echolalia might narrate lines from a favorite show while playing, or describe the same objects over and over regardless of what's actually going on. Real social commenting responds to the moment; scripted language usually doesn't reference what's happening right now and doesn't seek your eye contact. The fix isn't to shut the scripting down but to work beside it: accept the script, add your own real comment about the current situation, and wait. Over time, blending genuine narration into the scripted talk can nudge a child toward commenting on what's actually in front of them. This is a good area to bring in an SLP who understands neurodivergent communication, since scripted language is often a foundation for communication rather than an obstacle to it. The aim is to expand it, not erase it.Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between commenting and requesting in speech development?
Requesting means using language to get something: a toy, food, help. Commenting means using language just to share an observation, with nothing to gain. Both are essential, but requesting develops earlier because the payoff is immediate. Commenting requires a child to value social connection itself as the reward. Many late talkers and autistic children over-rely on requesting and skip commenting, which is a specific and teachable gap.
How do I get my autistic child to comment on what other people are doing?
Start by modeling comments yourself during play without expecting anything back. Use animated expressions ("Whoa!") paired with simple phrases like "Daddy fell!" or "Dog is running!" After a week of pure modeling, add a pause and wait for a reaction. Accept any response: a look, a sound, a gesture. Build joint attention first. For many autistic children, 8 to 12 weeks of consistent parent-modeled commenting practice is a realistic timeline before spontaneous commenting appears.
At what age should a child be able to comment on what others are doing?
Simple protodeclarative pointing, which is the nonverbal version of commenting, typically appears by 12 months. First verbal comments like "uh oh" or a single noun while watching an event emerge between 15 and 18 months. Two-word subject-verb comments are expected by 24 months. If a child is 24 months or older and rarely or never makes unprompted comments, that is worth raising with a pediatrician or speech-language pathologist.
Can I teach commenting without using flashcards or structured drills?
Yes, and frankly daily routines work better than drills for this skill. Commenting is a social behavior and it generalizes best when practiced in real social contexts: play, mealtimes, outings, book reading. The key technique is modeling out loud what you observe, then pausing. No cards, no prompts, no correction. Ten minutes of embedded practice during everyday activities is more effective than a single structured drill session.
What if my child only comments when I prompt them and never spontaneously?
Prompted commenting is a real step, not a failure. It means the motor plan and vocabulary exist. The goal now is fading the prompt. Try going from a full model ("Say 'uh oh!'") to a partial model ("Uh...") to an expectant look with no verbal cue. Reduce your prompt level every few days. Spontaneous commenting usually emerges when the child has had the prompted version succeed many times across many different situations and partners.
Does floor time or child-led play help children learn to comment?
Yes. Floor time and child-led play build the relationship foundation that makes commenting meaningful. A child comments to share something with a person they find engaging. If the adult is directing, correcting, or mostly asking questions, there is less reason to comment. Following the child's lead, staying at their physical level, and watching with genuine interest signals that observations are worth sharing. These are prerequisites for commenting work, not extras.
How do I teach commenting to a nonverbal child?
The target is not verbal commenting specifically but communicative commenting: any act that shares attention about an event with no goal of getting something. For nonverbal children this might be a look toward your face, a gesture, a sound, or activating a symbol on an AAC device. Model comments using the child's communication system, accept all forms of comment response, and build up from there. The AAC modeling technique called aided language input is well-supported for this purpose.
Are there specific games that naturally encourage children to comment?
Games with surprising outcomes are the best because they naturally trigger exclamations and observations. Bubble play, where bubbles pop unexpectedly. Marble runs. Block towers that fall. Wind-up toys. Peek-a-boo with older children. Any cause-and-effect toy where the outcome is slightly unpredictable gives you a natural "uh oh" or "wow" moment to model and then wait through. The surprise cues the emotional response that commenting rides on.
What does a speech therapist actually do to work on commenting in sessions?
An SLP will typically assess the child's current pragmatic profile first, measuring the ratio of requesting to commenting, joint attention initiation, and response to others' bids. Treatment often uses naturalistic developmental behavioral interventions (NDBIs) like JASPER or PRT, which specifically target joint engagement and social communication. Parents are usually coached to carry the strategies home, because generalization outside the therapy room depends on it.
Is commenting harder for children with apraxia of speech?
It can be, though the reason is different from autism or late talking. In childhood apraxia of speech, the motor planning required to produce words is inconsistent, so a child may have the intent to comment but not be able to reliably execute the words in the moment. For these children, building commenting in easy motor contexts first (exclamations like "uh oh") and pairing them with AAC or gesture reduces the production barrier while keeping the social motivation intact. See more on this at the apraxia of speech page.
How often should we practice commenting at home?
Daily practice matters more than session length. Aim for 10 to 15 minutes of embedded commenting during regular activities, spread across the day rather than done in one block. Consistency across multiple routines and settings is what drives generalization. Occasional intensive sessions with no follow-through between them show less durable gains in social communication research than brief daily practice.
Does commenting ever develop on its own without intervention?
For many late talkers without other developmental concerns, yes. Some children who are slow to comment at 18 months catch up spontaneously by 24 to 30 months, particularly if caregivers are naturally responsive communicators. However, for children with autism, persistent joint attention deficits, or significant language delays, spontaneous commenting rarely emerges without targeted input. Watchful waiting past 24 months without referral is generally not recommended by ASHA or AAP guidance.
Can siblings help teach a child to comment?
Siblings are among the best commenting teachers, unintentionally. Children find other children more arousing and interesting than most adults, which raises the chance that a sibling's action will trigger an observational response. You can structure this deliberately by narrating sibling play ("Look what she's doing!") while keeping your target child close by, then pausing for them to respond. Peer-mediated intervention, a formal version of this, has solid research support for building social communication in autism.
Sources
- American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA), Social Communication: Commenting classified under joint attention and pragmatic language as a social communication function
- Trembath D et al., Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 2014: Autistic children produced significantly fewer spontaneous comments and more requests compared to typically developing peers matched on vocabulary size
- Mundy P et al., Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 1986 (and replicated); summarized in Mundy & Newell, Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2007: Joint attention deficits in autism are present as early as 12 to 18 months and are among the most predictive early markers
- American Academy of Pediatrics, Developmental Milestones: AAP lists sharing objects and pointing to show interest as 12-month markers, and 50 words plus two-word phrases as 24-month markers
- ASHA, Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) Practice Portal: Aided language input (modeling AAC use) increases non-requesting social communication functions in children using AAC
- Girolametto L et al., Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 1996; Hanen Centre It Takes Two to Talk program evidence summary: Hanen It Takes Two to Talk parent-implemented program has evidence for improving joint attention and early communication in late-talking children
- Kaiser AP & Roberts MY, Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 2011: Naturalistic language intervention across multiple environments and partners produces better generalization than single-setting structured practice
- Kasari C et al., Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2010 (JASPER intervention study): Parent-implemented joint attention intervention showed improvements in initiating joint attention over 8 to 12 weeks
- U.S. Department of Education, Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), Part C and Part B: Children under 3 entitled to free early intervention evaluation under IDEA Part C; evaluation must occur within 45 days of referral
- Wetherby AM & Prizant BM, Communication and Symbolic Behavior Scales (CSBS) manual; ASHA assessment resources: CSBS and ADOS-2 include specific probes for commenting and joint attention in early communication assessment
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Learn the Signs. Act Early. Milestones: CDC milestone checklists include joint attention and social sharing behaviors at 12, 18, and 24 months