Last updated 2026-07-10
Most nonverbal children pick up "bye bye" through the same recipe: someone models it consistently, you guide their hand through the wave, and you pair the gesture with the sound every time a person walks out the door. Teach the wave first and let the word follow. If your child has no words by 16 months, it's worth bringing in a speech-language pathologist through early intervention. Progress here is real, even when the spoken word takes a while to show up.
Why "bye bye" is such a good word to start with
"Bye bye" shows up on nearly every early vocabulary list speech-language pathologists use, and there's a reason for that. It's tied to a clear, predictable moment: someone is leaving. That predictability helps a child who finds language confusing, because departures happen many times a day, giving you repetition without any special setup.
The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association treats functional communication, the kind that gets something done in daily life, as a core goal for children with limited verbal output [1]. "Bye bye" fits that well. It's a greeting, but it also marks a whole social exchange, and children tend to generalize it faster than single nouns because the situation calling for it is so obvious.
There's an emotional charge to goodbyes too. A parent heading for the door, a grandparent grabbing her keys, a teacher saying "see you tomorrow." Emotion and attention both speed up word learning, so you're not competing for focus the way you might with a picture on a table.
It also helps that "bye bye" is motorically simple: a reduplication, the same syllable said twice. Research on early word development shows reduplicated forms like "mama," "dada," "bye bye," and "night night" are among the first to appear in typical development, likely because the motor pattern repeats and becomes automatic faster [2].
What "nonverbal" means, and whether it changes your approach
Parents and even some clinicians use "nonverbal" loosely. It usually points to one of three situations: a child with no consistent spoken words, a child who makes sounds but no recognizable words, or a child who had words and lost them. Which one you're dealing with shifts the approach a bit.
If your child has sounds but no words, you're shaping those sounds into approximations. A child who already says "buh" has the building block of "bye." You're refining, not starting from silence.
If your child has lost words, especially if that happened after 18 months, that's worth a conversation with a pediatrician and likely a developmental evaluation [3]. You can still work on "bye bye" at home, but get professional eyes on what's going on.
If your child has never produced speech sounds consistently, teach the gesture first, always. Don't wait for a word before teaching the wave. The wave itself is communication, and for many children it becomes the base a sound gets layered onto later.
If your child uses an AAC device, whether that's a speech-generating device, a PECS board, or a symbol app, "bye bye" belongs in that system too. A child who taps a symbol to say goodbye is communicating, and that often shows up weeks or months before the spoken word does.
A step-by-step way to teach it
Here's what actually works, in order. Skip any step your child has already mastered.
Start by pairing every departure with the same phrase and wave. Every time someone in the house leaves, or a play session ends, say "bye bye" and wave, using the same words and the same hand motion each time. Consistency is what does the work; a model that changes from one time to the next slows everything down.
Get down to your child's eye level before you model it. Children imitate facial movements they can see clearly, and the mouth shape for "b" is visible, which matters more than most parents expect.
Use hand-over-hand prompting for the wave itself: gently lift your child's hand and move it in a wave right after you wave, then say "bye bye." That teaches the gesture and pairs it with the word at once. Over time, give less physical help (this is called fading the prompt) and watch for the child to start the wave on their own.
Add a pause and an expectant look. After you model "bye bye" and wave, wait 3 to 5 seconds and look at your child expectantly instead of repeating yourself right away. That pause is an invitation, and kids need more processing time than adults tend to allow.
Reinforce attempts more than perfect performances. A one-finger wave counts. "Buh" counts. Even a glance toward the door is communicative intent worth acknowledging: say "yes! Bye bye!" and wave again. Applied behavior analysis research consistently shows that reinforcing approximations builds toward the target faster than waiting for perfection [4].
Finally, fade the prompts gradually. Over days and weeks, reduce how much physical help you give until you're just looking at your child and waiting. If they need the prompt again, give it without frustration and try fading it again next time.
This whole process can take anywhere from a few days to several months. There's no precise population data on timelines for this specific skill; it depends on the child's overall communication profile, motor abilities, and how much the environment supports the learning.
Wave first, word second
Start with the wave. That's not a compromise, it's the sequence that works developmentally for most children with delayed speech.
In typically developing kids, gestures show up before words, usually around 9 to 12 months [2]. For children with delayed speech, the gesture-to-word pathway is often the most reliable one available. Once a child has a working gesture for goodbye, they're already communicating, and the spoken word gets added on top of something that's already working.
Speech-language pathologists sometimes describe this as building on the gesture platform. Once your child waves consistently, you get a reliable moment of engagement, and you know it's coming, so you can be ready to model the word at exactly the right instant.
There's a motor learning piece here as well. For children who may have childhood apraxia of speech (a motor speech disorder where the brain struggles to plan the movements for speech), pairing a physical gesture with a sound can help the sound emerge, since the movement seems to prime the motor system. That's part of why programs like DTTC (Dynamic Temporal and Tactile Cueing) rely on multisensory input [5].
Where AAC and sign language fit in
Both are legitimate, useful, and often faster routes to a functional goodbye than waiting on speech alone.
American Sign Language has a sign for "bye" (an open-hand wave, which overlaps with the ordinary social wave anyway). If your family or your child's school already uses sign, go ahead and teach it: it won't hold speech back. A 2006 review in the Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research found no evidence that AAC use suppresses speech development, and some evidence that it helps [6].
If your child uses a dedicated AAC device or a low-tech symbol board, make "bye bye" one of the first symbols loaded, and keep it easy to reach, on the home screen rather than buried three menus deep.
PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) is another route: you teach the child to hand over a "bye bye" picture at departure moments. It's low-tech and something you can start at home without much training.
If you're unsure which system fits your child, a speech-language pathologist who specializes in AAC can run an evaluation. You can reach one through early intervention if your child is under 3, or through your local school district under IDEA Part B once they turn 3 [7].
How many times a day should I practice, and when?
You don't need drill sessions for this. Honestly, sitting your child at a table with flashcards to drill "goodbye" is about the least effective thing you could do. "Bye bye" is a naturalistic word. It belongs in context, not in a worksheet.
Aim for every real departure through the day instead. Depending on your household, that's maybe 5 to 15 natural chances: a parent leaving for work, a sibling heading to school, a video call with grandma ending, a therapy session wrapping up, someone walking out of the room. All real moments, and all better than a staged one.
You can build some low-stakes practice too. Try a quick goodbye game with a favorite toy: wave to it, tuck it behind a pillow, bring it back. This works well for younger toddlers because it adds a bit of object permanence play, and the toy's return is its own reward. Keep it under five minutes and follow your child's lead.
Don't skip goodbyes just because they're hard. Some parents cut departures short because they trigger distress, which is understandable, but if the distress is severe it's worth raising with a therapist. Predictable goodbye routines, even short ones, tend to lower departure anxiety over time rather than raise it.
What if my child is 2, 3, or 4 and still not saying any words?
Get an evaluation. That's the single most important thing, whichever word you're working on.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental surveillance at every well-child visit and formal developmental screening at 9, 18, and 24 or 30 months [3]. If a child has no words by 16 months, no two-word phrases by 24 months, or loses any language skills at any age, AAP guidance calls for immediate evaluation rather than a wait-and-see approach.
For children under 3, early intervention services are federally mandated under IDEA Part C, and you can self-refer. You don't need a pediatrician's referral, though it helps to have one. Services come at no cost to the family if the child qualifies [7].
For children 3 and older, the school district handles evaluation under IDEA Part B. You can request this in writing, and in most states the school has 60 days from that request to finish the evaluation (timelines vary a bit by state) [7].
For 3 and 4 year olds with no words, speech therapy is almost always warranted. For children on the autism spectrum, autism-specific speech therapy approaches that address joint attention and social communication are often the right fit. A 4 year old with no words is not too old to make progress: earlier is better, and the data on early intervention outcomes is fairly consistent on that [8].
Could echolalia be used to get bye bye started?
Yes, and it's underused.
Echolalia, the repetition of words or phrases heard from other people or media, shows up in plenty of nonverbal and minimally verbal children. Rather than treating it as a problem, speech-language researchers like Barry Prizant have argued for building on it as a communication scaffold [9].
If your child repeats things they hear, they may already be echoing "bye bye" in spots where it doesn't look functional yet. Pay attention, and when you catch it, reinforce it right then even if it wasn't a true communicative goodbye. Say "Yes! Bye bye!" and wave. You're connecting the sound to its meaning through repetition in context.
Scripts help too. A short, predictable goodbye routine with the same words every time ("okay, bye bye, see you later!") can become something a child learns as a unit and later uses on purpose. This is a well-documented pathway for children with autism [9].
If you want to go deeper on what echolalia means developmentally and how to use it as a bridge, it's worth reading up on separately. It changes how you read what your child is doing and opens up strategies you might not have tried.
What about children with apraxia of speech? Does the method change?
Somewhat, yes.
Apraxia of speech is a motor planning disorder. The child knows what they want to say; the message just doesn't reliably reach the muscles that produce speech. For these children, the trouble with "bye bye" is motor, not cognitive or motivational.
For children with suspected or confirmed apraxia, a few things change. Repetition volume matters more, since children with apraxia need many more trials of the same motor pattern to build automaticity than typical learners do. Tactile cueing helps too: some SLPs use techniques like PROMPT (Prompts for Restructuring Oral Muscular Phonetic Targets), where the therapist physically guides jaw, lip, and tongue movements, and parents can learn simplified versions. The target sound needs to be stable before you add complexity, so get "buh" before "bye," and "bye" before "bye bye." And consistency of the model matters even more, because the child's motor system is trying to build a reliable plan, and if the model keeps changing, the plan stays shaky.
The Apraxia Kids organization (formerly CASANA) has parent resources at apraxia-kids.org that are genuinely good and free. If you think apraxia might be involved, look for a certified speech-language pathologist who lists CAS (Childhood Apraxia of Speech) as a specialty.
How will I know if my child is making progress?
Progress with nonverbal children is real but sometimes quiet, and parents often miss it because they're watching for the spoken word while the meaningful steps are happening underneath.
Here's roughly what that progress looks like, from earliest to most developed:
| Stage | What it looks like |
|---|---|
| 1. Increased attention | Child looks at the person leaving more consistently |
| 2. Body orientation | Child turns toward the door or person leaving |
| 3. Gesture with prompt | Child waves when hand is physically guided |
| 4. Partial gesture independently | Child raises arm or moves hand without full prompt |
| 5. Full wave independently | Child waves on their own at departure |
| 6. Sound with gesture | Child makes a vocalization (any sound) while waving |
| 7. Approximation | Child produces "buh" or "bah" while waving |
| 8. Recognizable word | Child says something close enough to "bye" that others understand |
| 9. Spontaneous use | Child starts the goodbye without any prompt |
Every row on that list counts as real progress. Keep a short log, even just a note in your phone after each session: "waved with minimal help today" is data, and it helps you see movement that feels invisible day to day.
If you've worked consistently for 6 to 8 weeks with no change across any of these stages, that's a signal to bring in a speech-language pathologist if you haven't already, or to talk it through with your current therapist. A plateau isn't failure. It's information.
Are there apps or tools that can support this at home?
A few categories are genuinely useful, and one is mostly noise.
AAC apps (like Proloquo2Go, TouchChat, or Snap Core First) are the highest-evidence category. These are real communication systems, not language toys, and they take training to use well. An SLP should be involved in choosing and programming one for your child.
Video modeling apps and platforms let children watch someone else perform the goodbye gesture and word over and over. Video modeling has reasonable research support for children with autism, and you can set it up with nothing fancier than your phone [10].
Some families find a tool like Little Words, built specifically for speech practice with neurodivergent kids, useful between therapy sessions. The Little Words app has a quiz that matches activities to where your child currently is, though no app replaces a qualified SLP. Tools like this work best as supplements.
The category that's mostly noise is passive language-learning apps, where the child watches content and is supposed to soak up words. For children with speech delays, passive exposure is rarely enough. Active, prompted, reinforced practice in natural contexts is what moves the needle.
What should I say to family members who don't get it?
This is a real practical problem. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends often either over-prompt ("say bye bye! Say it! Bye! Bye bye! Come on!") or skip the whole thing because they feel awkward about it.
Both extremes backfire. Over-prompting without waiting takes away the child's chance to initiate. Skipping it takes away the learning opportunity entirely.
Here's a short script you can hand off: "When you're leaving, just wave and say 'bye bye' clearly. Then wait about 5 seconds and look at him/her with a smile. If she waves or makes any sound, say 'bye bye!' back with real enthusiasm. If not, just say 'bye bye' once more and go. Don't repeat it ten times or ask her to say it."
That's it. Short, doable, no jargon. Most family members can follow it if you give them something concrete instead of a lecture on communication development. A quick laminated card by the front door is not overkill.
Common questions about teaching "bye bye"
Most children say their first social words, "bye bye" among them, somewhere between 10 and 14 months, and by 12 months a lot of kids are already waving goodbye even before they have the word itself. If your child has no words and no consistent gestures by 16 months, the AAP doesn't recommend waiting it out; that's the point to get an evaluation from a speech-language pathologist, who can tell you what's going on and whether early intervention makes sense.
Waving counts as saying bye bye, functionally speaking. It's a communicative gesture carrying the same meaning as the word, and speech-language pathologists treat consistent, intentional gestures as real communication. In fact the wave usually shows up weeks or months before the spoken version, so teaching it first isn't a shortcut or a lower bar, it's the natural order.
If your child used to wave bye bye and has stopped, that's worth acting on right away. Losing a skill that was already there, whether it's a gesture or a word, is something the AAP flags for immediate evaluation. Regression has a lot of possible causes and most are treatable, but don't sit back and hope it returns on its own. Call your pediatrician and ask for a developmental evaluation; if your child is under 3, you can also self-refer to your state's early intervention program directly.
Videos alone probably won't teach a nonverbal child to actually use "bye bye." Kids with speech delays generally need practice that's active and reinforced in real social moments, not passive viewing. Video modeling is a bit different: a child watches a short, specific clip of someone doing the gesture and word, then practices it themselves, and this approach has decent research support, especially for autistic children. Background TV isn't the same thing at all. If your child avoids eye contact, don't wait for a look before you act. Use the physical cue of leaving, like someone grabbing keys or putting on a coat, as the trigger instead. Say "bye bye" and wave regardless of where the child's eyes are. Over time these predictable departure routines tend to build enough context that many children start orienting toward the person leaving anyway, without needing eye contact prompts.
Combining sign language with the spoken word is what most speech-language pathologists recommend, and it works well here since the ASL sign for goodbye is basically the same wave most English-speaking families use already. There's no evidence signing delays speech, and some research suggests it actually helps. If your family or school already has a sign system in place, just stay consistent with it.
Crying at goodbyes instead of waving is normal, particularly for toddlers, and it's common in children with anxiety or sensory sensitivities too. Keep the departure short and predictable: wave, say bye bye, leave within 30 seconds, rather than dragging it out. Consistent short routines tend to ease separation anxiety over time for most kids. If the distress is severe or doesn't let up, bring it to your pediatrician or a behavioral therapist.
For a child with autism, the challenge is often reduced joint attention, which makes the social cue behind "bye bye" less obvious to them. You may need to make the departure cue bigger and clearer. Picture schedules showing "goodbye time," social stories about leaving, and very consistent routines all help here. Some autistic children pick up scripted phrases from shows or movies as their first version of "bye bye," and that's a legitimate path into communication worth encouraging rather than correcting.
You don't need a speech therapist to get started. Things like consistent modeling, prompting the gesture, pausing expectantly, and reinforcing partial attempts are all backed by evidence and doable at home. That said, if your child still isn't waving, has no words by 16 to 18 months, or has regressed, get a speech-language pathologist involved. Home practice works best as a companion to professional support, not a replacement for it.
Alongside "bye bye," the most useful early words for nonverbal children tend to be other social words like "hi," "no," "more," and "help," plus names for whatever people or objects motivate your particular child most. A speech-language pathologist can help build a target list based on your child's communication style, and generally the best candidates are words your child has already shown some interest in or attempted.
Nobody has solid population data on exactly how long it takes to teach this specific skill, honestly. It depends on the child's overall speech and motor development, how consistently you practice, and what support they're getting. Some kids manage a recognizable approximation within 2 to 4 weeks of steady practice; others need months just to reach the gesture stage. Watch for small steps forward, and if nothing's moved after 6 to 8 weeks, it's worth adjusting your approach.
Hand-over-hand prompting, where you gently guide the child's hand through the waving motion, is a standard technique in speech and occupational therapy and is safe when done gently with positive reinforcement. Some tactile-sensitive kids don't like it, though. If your child pulls away or gets upset, back off and talk to an OT or SLP about other options.
Saying bye bye at home but not out in public is extremely common and has a name: a stimulus generalization problem. The child has learned the behavior in one setting but hasn't yet connected it to other situations where it applies. The fix is deliberate practice somewhere new: try a slightly different room or a familiar relative first, get a win there, then keep expanding outward. This kind of generalization rarely happens on its own for kids with speech delays; it takes intentional practice to get there.
Sources
- ASHA (American Speech-Language-Hearing Association) - Augmentative and Alternative Communication practice portal: Functional communication, meaning communication that accomplishes real-world goals in daily life, is a core clinical target for children with limited verbal output
- Iverson JM, Goldin-Meadow S. Gesture paves the way for language development. Psychological Science, 2005.: Gesture use in typically developing children precedes first words, appearing around 9 to 12 months, and reduplicated forms like bye bye emerge early due to simpler motor patterns
- American Academy of Pediatrics - Developmental Surveillance and Screening: AAP recommends formal developmental screening at 9, 18, and 24 or 30 months, and says no words by 16 months or loss of any language skills warrants immediate evaluation
- Cooper JO, Heron TE, Heward WL. Applied Behavior Analysis, 3rd ed. Pearson, 2020.: Reinforcing successive approximations (shaping) builds toward a target behavior faster than waiting for perfect performance
- Apraxia Kids - Dynamic Temporal and Tactile Cueing (DTTC): DTTC uses multisensory input including gesture and tactile cueing to support motor planning for speech in children with childhood apraxia of speech
- Millar DC, Light JC, Schlosser RW. The impact of augmentative and alternative communication intervention on the speech production of individuals with developmental disabilities. Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research, 2006.: Review found no evidence that AAC use suppresses speech development and some evidence it supports spoken language emergence
- U.S. Department of Education - IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act): IDEA Part C mandates free early intervention services for children under 3; IDEA Part B mandates free evaluation and services through school districts for children 3 and older; school districts have 60 days from written request to complete evaluation in most states
- CDC - Learn the Signs. Act Early.: Research consistently shows earlier intervention produces better developmental outcomes for children with speech and developmental delays
- Prizant BM, Duchan JF. The functions of immediate echolalia in autistic children. Journal of Speech and Hearing Disorders, 1981.: Echolalia can function as a communication scaffold; scripted phrases learned as units can be used functionally and are a documented pathway for children with autism
- Bellini S, Akullian J. A meta-analysis of video modeling and video self-modeling interventions for children and adolescents with autism spectrum disorders. Exceptional Children, 2007.: Video modeling has research support as an effective intervention strategy for children with autism spectrum disorders
- ASHA - Late Language Emergence practice portal: Children with no words by 16 months or no two-word combinations by 24 months meet criteria for late language emergence and warrant speech-language evaluation