By Little Words Editorial · Editorial standards · Updated August 10, 2026
When do toddlers start shaking their head yes and no?
Between 13 and 18 months for most children. ASHA's communication milestones list shaking the head for no and nodding for yes in the 13 to 18 month band, alongside understanding and using words for the familiar objects and people in a toddler's life [1]. Expressable's SLP-written guide to yes and no questions works from the same checklist and the same 13 to 18 month range [2].
Treat that as a range, not a deadline. Some toddlers wave off broccoli with a firm head shake before their first birthday. Others do not nod until closer to a year and a half. Refusing usually comes before agreeing, because rejecting something is the easier idea to express. If the rest of your child's communication is growing, landing anywhere inside the band is typical.
If your child is past 18 months with no yes or no gesture, do not wait it out silently. Keep modeling, and read the evaluation section below. For the wider picture of what comes when, see our guide to ASHA speech milestones.
Are head shakes real communication, or just a habit?
They are real communication. ASHA counts gestures among the unaided forms of communication people use, in the same family as facial expressions, body language, and manual signs [3]. A head shake is your toddler saying no with the tool they have right now.
That framing changes how you teach. You are not fixing a missing behavior. You are giving your child a second, clearer way to say something they already mean. So respond to the gesture the way you would respond to the word. A toddler whose no gets honored learns fast that communicating works, and children who communicate more get more practice at it.
The same framing matters for children who may use AAC later. ASHA is direct about this: there are no prerequisites for AAC intervention [3]. Gestures, spoken words, pictures, and devices are not competing tracks. A reliable yes and no is a foundation skill across all of them, including for kids who will one day answer choice questions on a communication device. Our AAC basics hub covers that bigger picture.
How do you teach the head shake for no, step by step?
- Step 1. Model it inside real refusals. When your child pushes food away, put language on it: shake your head slowly and say no. One clean, visible model beats five fast ones.
- Step 2. Offer a true choice. Hold up something your child genuinely does not want. Ask, do you want this? Shake your head slowly as you ask, so the answer is sitting right there.
- Step 3. Wait 5 to 10 seconds. Expressable's SLP guidance is specific here: wait at least 5 to 10 seconds before you fill the silence [2]. The pause is the teaching. It leaves room for your toddler to act.
- Step 4. Honor the answer instantly. Any head movement in the right direction counts at first. Put the item away and say, okay, no crackers. The gesture just worked, and your child felt it work.
- Step 5. Keep it short and playful. A few natural reps across the day beat one drill session. Stop while it is still a game.
How do you teach nodding yes?
Start once no is rolling, and stack the deck. Offer things your child clearly wants. Ask, do you want bubbles? Nod slowly while you say yes, then hand the bubbles over the moment you get any nod-shaped movement. Yes tends to lag behind no for many toddlers, so a gap between the two gestures is normal [2].
Say the word every time you model either gesture. Word plus gesture is exactly the combination ASHA's checklist expects in this window, where toddlers are learning words for the common objects, actions, and people around them [1].
What if my toddler does not copy the gesture?
Shrink the target. If a full head shake is not landing, treat any refusal signal as the answer: turning away, pushing your hand, a consistent sound. Name it, honor it, and keep modeling the head shake on top of it.
Then build imitation somewhere easier. Clap hands, bang the table, stick out your tongue, trade peekaboo turns. Toddlers who will not copy a head shake will often copy a body game, and imitation borrowed from play comes back to yes and no. If your toddler communicates mostly in grunts and pulls, our guide to grunting without talking goes deeper on that stage.
If imitation is rare across the board, or gestures are not showing up at all, that deserves a professional look rather than more pressure at home. It is not a test you failed. It is information worth acting on early.
When should you ask for an evaluation?
| Situation | What to do |
|---|---|
| Approaching 18 months, no yes or no gesture yet, but other communication is growing | Keep modeling daily and raise it at your next checkup. |
| No intentional gestures of any kind well past the first birthday | Ask your pediatrician about a referral now instead of waiting. The AAP's advice is to tell your child's doctor whenever development seems delayed [4]. |
| Your child stopped using gestures or words they used to have | Tell your pediatrician promptly. |
| Under age 3 in the US | You can contact your state early intervention program directly; the AAP describes early intervention as a federal- and state-funded program that helps children and their families [4]. |
| Age 3 or older | Ask your public school district about a speech and language evaluation. |
| Not sure anything is wrong | You do not need proof to ask. An evaluation answers the question either way, and our toddler not talking hub walks through what one looks like. |
What this page can and cannot tell you
This page gives you the typical age range for yes and no gestures, with sources, and a teaching approach built for normal routines. It cannot tell you whether your child has a delay. No checklist or article can; that is a job for a speech-language pathologist who can see your actual child. Home practice like this supplements professional care and never replaces it. If you are worried today, asking for an evaluation is the step that settles it.
How Little Words fits alongside gesture teaching
Little Words is a voice-first practice app, built by a dad, where kids ages 2 to 8 play and talk with Buddy, with support through age 10. It practices spoken words, not head gestures. Where it fits this page: once yes and no are working, Buddy gives kids a low-pressure place to practice the words that ride on top of those gestures. It supplements speech therapy and never replaces it.
Questions parents ask about yes and no gestures
At what age should a toddler shake their head no?
Most children start between 13 and 18 months. ASHA's communication milestones place both the no head shake and the yes nod in the 13 to 18 month band. Landing anywhere inside that range is typical, and refusing usually shows up before agreeing.
Is it normal for the head shake to come before the word no?
Yes, and it is common. In ASHA's 13 to 18 month window, head gestures and first words are both still emerging, and many toddlers gesture before they say the matching word. Keep saying the word while you model the gesture, and treat the head shake as a real answer.
My toddler shakes their head no but never nods yes. Should I worry?
A gap between the two is common. No is the easier message to send, so it often arrives first. Teach yes with things your child clearly wants, model a slow nod, and hand the item over for any attempt. If neither gesture is present by 18 months, bring it up with your pediatrician.
Do gestures get in the way of talking?
No. ASHA treats gestures as one of the normal, unaided ways people communicate, alongside speech, and states there are no prerequisites for AAC intervention. Responding to gestures gives your toddler more chances to communicate and be understood while words are still coming in.
What if my child is 2 and has no yes or no gesture at all?
Ask for an evaluation rather than wait. In the US you can contact your state early intervention program before age 3; the AAP describes early intervention as a federal- and state-funded program for exactly this kind of question. You do not need a diagnosis to ask.
Sources
How this page was checked: every claim above was compared against the linked ASHA and AAP pages and the cited SLP-written guide on August 10, 2026. Ages are presented as ranges because that is how the sources publish them.
- ASHA: Communication Milestones, 13 to 18 Months: checklist includes shakes head for no and nods head for yes, plus understands and uses words for common objects, some actions, and people. Accessed August 10, 2026
- Expressable: How to Teach Your Toddler to Answer Yes or No Questions: by Abby Barnes, M.S., CCC-SLP, December 19, 2023: typical start by 13 to 18 months per the ASHA checklist; wait at least 5 to 10 seconds for an answer. Accessed August 10, 2026
- ASHA Practice Portal: Augmentative and Alternative Communication: gestures listed among unaided forms of communication; there are no prerequisites for AAC intervention. Accessed August 10, 2026
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP): Language Delays in Toddlers: early intervention described as a federal- and state-funded program; tell your child's doctor if development seems delayed. Last updated April 30, 2021; accessed August 10, 2026